Comfortable Connected Friendships - Find a Sookie or be a Sookie

Don't you love how connected everyone is in Stars Hollow?  I especially love Sookie and Lorelai's friendship with each other.  They seem to know each other better than they know themselves.  They are always showing up for each other.  They aren't just polite adult friends (think Emily Gilmore and her friends), they are real friends!  Part of the magic of Stars Hollow is how connected people seem to their friends. 

Sometimes I really miss connection.

Yes, I have great friends, I am married, I have kids, I go to church, I get on Facebook and read peoples blogs.   

I am talking about the kind of connection I haven't had in ten years (yes...I was only 17 at that time)!

As crazy as those teenage years were, we always had time for our friends!  It seems like we were always cheering someone up, making someone feel special, stopping by to visit, giving each other rides, lending each other clothes, leaving a note on someone's car, sharing how excited, in love, or heartbroken we were, celebrating someone's birthday or achievement, spending the night, eating out, sneaking out, trying out, and countless other things together.   

I so miss the days when people just stopped by each other's houses, whether it was friends to see my mom, friends to see me, neighbors saying hi or kids selling rocks (okay, that was me, but 20 years ago). 

Times have changed and now we get on Facebook to say hi to our neighbors, if we know them at all!  We send a text saying "hope everything is all right" to a friend in need instead of driving to her house, knocking on the door, and inviting yourself in to work through whatever is going on with her.

Really, how boring would Gilmore Girls have been if Sookie and Lorelai would have texted each other with a lame "hope everything is fine" instead of every time they showed up for each other?

I love that they were those type of girlfriends that most of us have forgotten how to be.  They care about each other enough to tell each other the truth when needed, like when someone is doing things to hurt themselves without knowing it, or they really are just wrong. 

I love that they  really know each other.  I think a lot of us as adults start to feel after awhile, "does anyone really know me anymore?"  Sometimes we aren't even sure if we know ourselves.  We can lose ourselves in our work, in raising our kids, or our other responsibilities.

When we have healthy, vibrant connections with kindred spirits we are able to live more passionate beautiful lives.  We blossom as individuals, which makes us better moms, wives, employees, etc.

We need to keep growing.

We need friendships. 

Healthy ones.  Growing ones.  Old friendships are fine, if they are still alive and growing.  If not, you need to make new ones, or add life back to the ones you have.

Start by being  a good friend.  Call, show up, remember what's going on for them, celebrate them, pay attention when things don't seem right with them, spend time with them, surprise them. 

Don't force a friendship that isn't meant to be.  We all change and sometimes it's okay to move on and let your memories be. As you reach out, you will be able to feel if this person wants to be as connected as you do.  Don't be hurt if the feeling isn't mutual.  You just had practice at being a kind and caring human being.  But don't keep pouring yourself into a relationship that isn't mutually felt or beneficial.  It will be worth it to keep looking and find your Sookie.   

Sometimes it really is time to make new friends for the stage of life you are in now. There are some friendships that are meant to last a lifetime, and if that's the case, it's time you start enjoying that friendship for all it is meant to be.

Sookie adds that sweet feeling of HOME to Gilmore Girls.  She is caring, bubbly, and funny.  She is open and honest.  She bakes yummy food.  She is just so herself and lights up a space with her big smile.  In this fast, impersonal world we all need some Sookie!  Whether we find an amazing individual who brings some of that homemade cookies feeling  to our lives or we work on becoming more of that type of a friend, it's going to make our Stars Hollow that much sweeter. 
      
Do something today.

Do something to make your life feel warmer and sweeter by being the type of connected friend who shows up in the story of our own lives. 

Really, what is life without friends to love and laugh with?     

(And it WILL make you a better wife, mother, writer, doctor, lawyer......you will have more of yourself to share and more to give all around.)

Zumba Anyone? Followup to Carpe Diem - Think Lorelai Here!

I tried Zumba tonight, again. 

Have you heard of Zumba? 

This is what it says on their website, "Are you ready to party yourself into shape? That’s exactly what the Zumba^® program is all about. It’s an exhilarating, effective, easy-to-follow, Latin-inspired, calorie-burning dance fitness-party^™ that’s moving millions of people toward joy and health."

Hmmm....easy-to-follow?  I don't think so.  But it was fun. 

This is something completely not within my comfort zone, but I'm stretching myself here!  I'm the self-conscious girl who can't dance or sing at all, so you should have seen me trying to swing my hips, shimmy and shake my bum.  Actually, you're really lucky you didn't!  My hips don't move, I'm not even sure how to shimmy and I have no idea how people get their bum to shake in a cool dance way instead of a jiggly fat girl way. 

But it was fun.  Silly, kinda dorky.
 
But I showed up.

I'm going to keep showing up in my life, trying new things and creating the life and fun I need and deserve. 

Who knows?!  Zumba today, maybe belly dancing tomorrow!  Ha ha.  I want to have a full resume of experiences when I leave this life!  Zumba, check! 

What do you want to try?  Or maybe, more importantly, what makes you so uncomfortable that you should try? 

Carpe Diem - Seize the day!  Think - Lorelai and Rory backpacking across Europe, or working out in the gym with Logan and Luke in Martha's Vineyard; both backpacking and working out in a gym, not really their thing, but they are awesome because they went anyway.  Maybe not everyday, and maybe not again, but hey, seize the day.  Do something!  When you try everything, you start to know exactly what you like and who you are! 

To live a three-dimensional life in a three-dimensional space (our Stars Hollow) we have to add depth to ourselves by pushing through our inhibitions on a regular basis and finding the unending appetite for adventure and passion for living inside of us.      

Original Post: Carpe Diem - Think Lorelai Here!

Do Things For Real -- Think Lorelai's Parties

Go all out.  Decorate.  Make the details happen.  Bring your daydreams to life! 

Find reasons to celebrate! 

Your life and the people you love alone are worth celebrating!

Most of us are always WAITING!  Waiting for our REAL lives to begin.  We just kind of do the minimum, waiting for when we have the circumstances we think will mark the beginning of our lives.  To find your Stars Hollow, you've got to do things the way you dream they would be right now today. 

Throwing a baby shower or birthday party?  Do it right!  Right - meaning the way you want it to really be.  You can do it.  You can be creative.  You can decorate, hire a decorator, or delegate to a friend!  You can get music exactly the way you want it.  You can pick a really cool place.  No money?  Be creative...find a beautiful park, yard or public building.  You can think of the details that will make it shine and make it happen.  See the satisfaction that comes from creating the type of cool experiences and memories you watch all the time on Gilmore Girls and wish for in your own life.   

You have the power to create those types of events and memories.  Whether it's your anniversary, your 2 year olds birthday party or lunch with your friends.  Just don't be waiting until you have more money or are more settled to be who you really want to be.  Everything you need you already are!  It doesn't take anything outside of you.  It's you believing that you deserve to enjoy your own life. 

Plan it out.  Have confidence in yourself.  Learn from your mistakes.  What was lacking this time?  Do it even better next time.  Find reasons to celebrate your life and then do it just how you want to.  No, it won't go perfectly, and that's part of the fun.  The point is that you are making your life happen and filling it with memories that you are choosing to make. 

A big smile on your face while you are enjoying creating what's in your mind is the sign you are on the right track! 

And always remember, a few twinkle lights can only help!  

Followup to Twinkle Lights

I picked this up at the store tonight.  My first baby step to creating Stars Hollow lighting in my own life.  It's been twinkling on the counter for hours and I love it. 

Original Post: Twinkle Lights, What More Can I say?!

Twinkle Lights, What More Can I Say?!

Atmosphere and mood. That is such a huge part of what we love about Stars Hollow.  It's beautiful.  It feels magical and romantic.  And I'm pretty sure the millions of twinkle lights are a big part of it.  Any soft lighting really, can have that effect on a space.  Chinese lanterns, paper bags with votive candles, fairy lights.  Even a few soft glowing candles in the kitchen in the evening creates a little magic. 

Get creative.  Start to notice places and ways you could build a little mood by changing the lighting.  We love the mood that is created in Stars Hollow, so we need to start learning ways to create that type of mood in our own surroundings.

Maybe hang twinkle lights around your garden?  

Add a little sparkle and wonder to YOUR Stars Hollow by creating what you love!  And take time to thank the people and businesses that already create this type of beauty and atmosphere in your own community to make sure it continues.


Followups to this post: Followup to Twinkle Lights

Followup to Sit - Think Lane and Rory in the Gazebo

So a little followup post. 

I sat. 

It had been a long day.  It was 8:00 p.m. and I hadn't found anyplace to do what I had written about in my post.  I was at the gym, a very un-Gilmore Girls place, and as I was rushing out after my workout I saw a chair. 

There it was, right by the front desk where you scan your keys to check in.  And I did it.  I sat down, pulled out my purse and started playing with my phone, my planner and anything else I could do to deal with the anxiousness I was feeling.  I stayed with it.  After a few minutes of messing around with my stuff, I started to relax.  I looked up more and more.  I listened in on a few conversations going on.  I realized these people weren't as intimidating as I had thought.  They were just people.  Kind of goofy, down-to-earth, very Stars Hollow-like.

I took a little ownership of one of the places I rush around to everyday by just sitting my butt down there and getting comfortable with it.

Conclusion: Sit-Think Lane and Rory in the Gazebo gets 5 stars!  Very effective in helping to create my own Stars Hollow.  Happy Sitting!        


Original Post:  Sit - Think Lane and Rory in the Gazebo

Snuggle In at Home - but not for too long

I just woke up to a rainy, cool, overcast day and I immediately thought of the Gilmore Girls in sweaters and bunny rabbit slippers curled up in blankets on the couch.  Just like we've talked about enjoying yourself when you're out, we need to enjoy ourselves at home too.  Take time for comfort, and I don't mean always just plopping mindlessly down in front of the television.  I'm talking about actively creating comfort, meaning doing things to make yourself more comfortable.

Dim the lights, or open the blinds and let the sunshine in, depending on your mood.

Make yourself hot cocoa and sit somewhere relaxing while you enjoy it.

Light a candle. 

Or open a window and let a fresh breeze blow in.

Enjoy being at home; make it someplace you really enjoy.  Change the things you don't like about it.  Make it your little safe haven.  Simple things really do make a difference; a really loved blanket on the couch to cuddle up with when you sit down. 

Set up a little corner where you can read, write, study or get on the internet with everything you need within arms reach.  Wear comfortable clothing while you're at home.  Occasionally go out with the sole purpose of buying something to make your home more lovable to you.

A soft rug maybe?  Beautiful flowers?  Something abstract and fun that makes you laugh? (Think--Lorelai's Monkey Lamp.  For me, it's my oversized purple glass grapes!)

I always loved that quilt hanging on the wall at the bottom of the stairs in Lorelai's house.  She's always running up and down the stairs and I always notice how homey it feels. 

Snuggle in at home while you're there.  Design it, adjust it and decorate it with your likes, dislikes and habits in mind.  Lorelai hated washing dishes so she found a system to minimize dishes as much as possible (e.g. ordering takeout and using plastic and paper).  Make your home work for you.  Snuggle in and enjoy it there. 

Parting note:  Snuggle in, but not for too long!  Gilmore Girls are always off doing and become, so just enjoy yourself while you're there and then be ready to get going again.  You know, take a walk, explore your own town, frequent "your" places.   

It's the little moments that make all the difference! 

Welcome to your own house in  your own Stars Hollow.