Don't you love how connected everyone is in Stars Hollow? I especially love Sookie and Lorelai's friendship with each other. They seem to know each other better than they know themselves. They are always showing up for each other. They aren't just polite adult friends (think Emily Gilmore and her friends), they are real friends! Part of the magic of Stars Hollow is how connected people seem to their friends.
Sometimes I really miss connection.
Yes, I have great friends, I am married, I have kids, I go to church, I get on Facebook and read peoples blogs.
I am talking about the kind of connection I haven't had in ten years (yes...I was only 17 at that time)!
As crazy as those teenage years were, we always had time for our friends! It seems like we were always cheering someone up, making someone feel special, stopping by to visit, giving each other rides, lending each other clothes, leaving a note on someone's car, sharing how excited, in love, or heartbroken we were, celebrating someone's birthday or achievement, spending the night, eating out, sneaking out, trying out, and countless other things together.
I so miss the days when people just stopped by each other's houses, whether it was friends to see my mom, friends to see me, neighbors saying hi or kids selling rocks (okay, that was me, but 20 years ago).
Times have changed and now we get on Facebook to say hi to our neighbors, if we know them at all! We send a text saying "hope everything is all right" to a friend in need instead of driving to her house, knocking on the door, and inviting yourself in to work through whatever is going on with her.
Really, how boring would Gilmore Girls have been if Sookie and Lorelai would have texted each other with a lame "hope everything is fine" instead of every time they showed up for each other?
I love that they were those type of girlfriends that most of us have forgotten how to be. They care about each other enough to tell each other the truth when needed, like when someone is doing things to hurt themselves without knowing it, or they really are just wrong.
I love that they really know each other. I think a lot of us as adults start to feel after awhile, "does anyone really know me anymore?" Sometimes we aren't even sure if we know ourselves. We can lose ourselves in our work, in raising our kids, or our other responsibilities.
When we have healthy, vibrant connections with kindred spirits we are able to live more passionate beautiful lives. We blossom as individuals, which makes us better moms, wives, employees, etc.
We need to keep growing.
We need friendships.
Healthy ones. Growing ones. Old friendships are fine, if they are still alive and growing. If not, you need to make new ones, or add life back to the ones you have.
Start by being a good friend. Call, show up, remember what's going on for them, celebrate them, pay attention when things don't seem right with them, spend time with them, surprise them.
Don't force a friendship that isn't meant to be. We all change and sometimes it's okay to move on and let your memories be. As you reach out, you will be able to feel if this person wants to be as connected as you do. Don't be hurt if the feeling isn't mutual. You just had practice at being a kind and caring human being. But don't keep pouring yourself into a relationship that isn't mutually felt or beneficial. It will be worth it to keep looking and find your Sookie.
Sometimes it really is time to make new friends for the stage of life you are in now. There are some friendships that are meant to last a lifetime, and if that's the case, it's time you start enjoying that friendship for all it is meant to be.
Sookie adds that sweet feeling of HOME to Gilmore Girls. She is caring, bubbly, and funny. She is open and honest. She bakes yummy food. She is just so herself and lights up a space with her big smile. In this fast, impersonal world we all need some Sookie! Whether we find an amazing individual who brings some of that homemade cookies feeling to our lives or we work on becoming more of that type of a friend, it's going to make our Stars Hollow that much sweeter.
Do something today.
Do something to make your life feel warmer and sweeter by being the type of connected friend who shows up in the story of our own lives.
Really, what is life without friends to love and laugh with?
(And it WILL make you a better wife, mother, writer, doctor, lawyer......you will have more of yourself to share and more to give all around.)
