Enjoy What You Have Now - Think Rory's Time Before College or when Luke and Lorelai are actually Together

The best moments on Gilmore Girls for me were the times when Luke and Lorelai were together and good, and when Rory and Lorelai were together and good.  Especially now, when I am watching for the 100th time and I know what's coming and that they won't always be together, I really take it in and enjoy the good times when they have each other. 

So after writing yesterday about comfortable connected friendships, I realized that I already have much of what I'm always saying I want!  I'm always wishing for this magical little place (distant and in the future) with connected people and cherished, familiar friendships and then I spend some time with my friends today and think, wow, I need to just enjoy what I have right now: great friends.  Of course, I could probably use a little work on being a better friend and that may be what would bring me a little closer to that Stars Hollow feeling I'm always looking for. 

It's that waiting thing again...waiting for when I'm ready to do things right and really start living and acknowledge that this is my life, my time.  We need to take who we are, where we are, and all the people and things going on in our life right now and make the most of them.  Let go of the people and things that drain your energy and enthusiasm; focus on the ones that make you happy. 

Our lives come in stages and chapters, and not one of them is going to last forever.  The joy comes in being here 100% in what's going on in your story now. 

My husband and I are getting ready to move from a quiet Idaho town to the East Coast in a few months and I'm so excited about the beautiful little New England town we are moving too and all the adventures we will have there, but am I taking in the finale of this chapter?  I will have lived this town for almost three years when we move, and I have to admit that I spent most of the time wishing we were somewhere else.  And yet, while here, my husband went back to school after ten long years, we started to pursue new dreams for our future, my 2 year old son and 10 month old son were both born beautifully and magically into my arms at home, and I have spend time with some of the best people I have ever known. 

Wishing away our time is not very Stars Hollow-like! 

People in Stars Hollow are so content in the moment, whatever they are doing at that time.  Think of Kirk and his hundreds of different jobs.  He's so happy just doing what he's doing at the time!  I love how Lorelai and Rory took advantage of every last second they had together when they knew she would be going to school soon.  Their story is saturated with the memories they have made together every day of their lives in whatever stage they were in at the time.  I love when they talk about their memories of Rory's birthday parties growing up, or how a certain town events went 4 years ago.  They are always showing up for their life, in whatever stage they are in, and so they have the sweet memories to help them move bravely into the future. 

What's good in your life today?  Who are you grateful to know?  Could you be making more of it? 

Chances are this stage won't last forever, so write in some great adventures while the book is still open to this page!      

      

Comfortable Connected Friendships - Find a Sookie or be a Sookie

Don't you love how connected everyone is in Stars Hollow?  I especially love Sookie and Lorelai's friendship with each other.  They seem to know each other better than they know themselves.  They are always showing up for each other.  They aren't just polite adult friends (think Emily Gilmore and her friends), they are real friends!  Part of the magic of Stars Hollow is how connected people seem to their friends. 

Sometimes I really miss connection.

Yes, I have great friends, I am married, I have kids, I go to church, I get on Facebook and read peoples blogs.   

I am talking about the kind of connection I haven't had in ten years (yes...I was only 17 at that time)!

As crazy as those teenage years were, we always had time for our friends!  It seems like we were always cheering someone up, making someone feel special, stopping by to visit, giving each other rides, lending each other clothes, leaving a note on someone's car, sharing how excited, in love, or heartbroken we were, celebrating someone's birthday or achievement, spending the night, eating out, sneaking out, trying out, and countless other things together.   

I so miss the days when people just stopped by each other's houses, whether it was friends to see my mom, friends to see me, neighbors saying hi or kids selling rocks (okay, that was me, but 20 years ago). 

Times have changed and now we get on Facebook to say hi to our neighbors, if we know them at all!  We send a text saying "hope everything is all right" to a friend in need instead of driving to her house, knocking on the door, and inviting yourself in to work through whatever is going on with her.

Really, how boring would Gilmore Girls have been if Sookie and Lorelai would have texted each other with a lame "hope everything is fine" instead of every time they showed up for each other?

I love that they were those type of girlfriends that most of us have forgotten how to be.  They care about each other enough to tell each other the truth when needed, like when someone is doing things to hurt themselves without knowing it, or they really are just wrong. 

I love that they  really know each other.  I think a lot of us as adults start to feel after awhile, "does anyone really know me anymore?"  Sometimes we aren't even sure if we know ourselves.  We can lose ourselves in our work, in raising our kids, or our other responsibilities.

When we have healthy, vibrant connections with kindred spirits we are able to live more passionate beautiful lives.  We blossom as individuals, which makes us better moms, wives, employees, etc.

We need to keep growing.

We need friendships. 

Healthy ones.  Growing ones.  Old friendships are fine, if they are still alive and growing.  If not, you need to make new ones, or add life back to the ones you have.

Start by being  a good friend.  Call, show up, remember what's going on for them, celebrate them, pay attention when things don't seem right with them, spend time with them, surprise them. 

Don't force a friendship that isn't meant to be.  We all change and sometimes it's okay to move on and let your memories be. As you reach out, you will be able to feel if this person wants to be as connected as you do.  Don't be hurt if the feeling isn't mutual.  You just had practice at being a kind and caring human being.  But don't keep pouring yourself into a relationship that isn't mutually felt or beneficial.  It will be worth it to keep looking and find your Sookie.   

Sometimes it really is time to make new friends for the stage of life you are in now. There are some friendships that are meant to last a lifetime, and if that's the case, it's time you start enjoying that friendship for all it is meant to be.

Sookie adds that sweet feeling of HOME to Gilmore Girls.  She is caring, bubbly, and funny.  She is open and honest.  She bakes yummy food.  She is just so herself and lights up a space with her big smile.  In this fast, impersonal world we all need some Sookie!  Whether we find an amazing individual who brings some of that homemade cookies feeling  to our lives or we work on becoming more of that type of a friend, it's going to make our Stars Hollow that much sweeter. 
      
Do something today.

Do something to make your life feel warmer and sweeter by being the type of connected friend who shows up in the story of our own lives. 

Really, what is life without friends to love and laugh with?     

(And it WILL make you a better wife, mother, writer, doctor, lawyer......you will have more of yourself to share and more to give all around.)